Where'd Ya Go?

It is interesting to me that after chatting via text - never an actual phone conversation - a guy can just drop off. Bye Bye. Where did you go? In what way did you lose interest? You haven't seen my face or really for that matter my body so you can't judge me for those two things. Maybe I am boring to you. Hmm. Bizarro.

When one goes, another will come? In fact, that is the case, but this "another" is from my past...from when I was in my most awkward phase of my life. Talk about bizarro! Generally, I have a nickname for all my people, but for this guy, I haven't been able to figure it out. For now, we will call him Goofy.

So, to give some history, when I was a freshman in high school, Goofy was a junior. He was a brilliant soccer player and hung around with boys who I may or may not have had crushes on.  Anyway, those boys tortured me! So when they finally graduated life was good. I had no idea what happened to them after they left the school.

So the other day when I get a beep from FB messenger from Goofy and a whole bunch of "likes" of my photos on FB, I was astonished. SO RANDOM! So we started to chat and man let me tell you, he is GOOFY! He. like me, is divorced, but he has a child and lives in Virginia. He has done very well for himself. He likes very much to take pictures of himself making faces - hence the goofy name. It is quite silly, and I do not know anyone to take so many selfies, but endearing a bit.

He is very intriguing in that he continues to speak with me regardless of our distance. I am curious to know what his intentions are...

Flashback!

Do you ever have a flash back of a date or a guy you dated for a brief time? I have been having those and I cringe every time.
I don't think I mentioned the Israeli, but he is worth mentioning due to his antics. What an interesting character. While hotter than hell, he also had some bizarre behaviours.
I was so enamored by his beauty that the aforementioned behaviours did not seem to matter. But, once the beauty wore off, and the personality was shining through, the tics were more obvious.

Here is a brief history: although super handsome, he was divorced with a child, but without partial custody. For some reason, this really bugged me. He was very clear that his x - wife was crazy and that it was the "System" that won his wife almost full custody of his child...I just didn't feel like that was the truth...
So anyway, the tic that drove me bonkers - and maybe his x - wife - was when he was drinking anything. I know it sounds bizarre, but it was like a speed round of sipping. Coffee, cocktails, any kind of drink. The best was when he had coffee because the cup would be completely empty, yet he would still go in for that speedy and tiny sip. Along with these sips were an over the cup/glass brow raise that was so mysterious and well played. I am sure he spent hours upon hours practicing in front of his mirror.

To this day, I see him doing it in my mind and I cringe! SO WEIRD!!!!! Maybe he was trying to be super suave, but quite frankly he looked like a donkey. Needless to say, we did not extend our dating to more than a few dates. Apparently, my ESP was not working one weekend while he was sick. He yelled at me for not knowing he had the flu and bringing him soup. Ooops! MY BAD!

Later son!

Italian Not so Stalian?

Have I told you about the Italian? God Bless him. He has been through the ringer with women. Unfortunately, you can tell this immediately. He uses the excuse "That is because you are a woman" for just about everything. I could say that I put on my socks backwards and his response would always be the same "That's because you are a woman".

Now, I didn't discover this immediately. I had been on many dates with the Italian. I had even gone hiking OUTSIDE - and if you know me well, you know that rarely happens. Anyway, all was well and then he went on a trip...we had made plans for when he came back. He was taking a red-eye back to Boston and he insisted on seeing me that very same day. I couldn't believe it! I said I would make dinner and all was well...or so I thought.

Well he came home around 8am and I didn't hear from him until around 2pm. At that point, I was thinking this guy blew me off! I had created a wonderful meal for that evening and I am getting blown off! That is bull.  However, when I finally did hear from him, he was telling me how tired he was and how he couldn't get out of bed. I told him no problem, you stay there and rest. Oh but to my surprise, he insisted on coming to my house.

Once he got there, immediately he started to tell me he was just so tired, he was only staying for the meal and then heading out. Fine. NO PROBLEMO. Quite frankly, I didn't want a crankzilla in the house. I guess the odds were not in my favour that evening, because his jaded self came out and I heard more than one "That's because you are a woman".

OY! Such nonsense! If there is a problem with women, take a break pal. Go to therapy a bit more so that you aren't using that excuse all the time. It gets old.

You Said What?

I have to mention some of my favorite quotes from the website. Some of these guys have chutzpah when approaching a girl/ me.

The first quote that was utterly awesome from a guy was "What makes you so special". That was his introduction to himself. Interesting. What makes you so special, pal? I don't know if it was lost in translation, but clearly I did not have a great first impression of this guy. He forgot his "Hello, my name is..." or "How are you? My name is?" But instead, he goes straight to the punch and weird way of asking that question. Well, from that lovely statement, I hit DELETE and bye bye.

Another marvelous introduction from this website was a guy who just went right into it. "Hi, I am 47 I have 3 kids and I am divorced..." He went on for about three or four more paragraphs about his divorced life and children, which sounded lovely, but again, a weird introduction.

My favorite are the intros like "You are HOT" or "Do you smoke WEED".  How do I respond? Thanks and no thanks. But I don't want to talk to either of you so I just don't respond. I just don't get it. Who taught these guys that this was ok?

I am sure that most of these guys must have manners somewhere, but somehow they missed the ticket in introductions. Maybe it is my upbringing where you don't reveal everything all at once and you shake hands, but seriously guys, get a grip!

Oy Websites!

So, as I was saying I have tried a popular website. Well actually, I have tried two. The first was soo incredibly laborious, I just couldn't keep up. The claim to fame of this website is that you will meet "Mr. Right" because the website does the work...so, I went along and went out on a date.

AWKWARD! That is the word I would describe the whole scenario. The initial hug that I gave was awkward (I guess some just don't like hugs), and the whole conversation was awkward. The guy was incredibly intelligent. So much so that I was bored. I tried to ask thoughtful questions and dig into what he did, but I found myself struggling to understand just what he was saying. I guess that is what happens when you go out with a guy who is a scientist from MIT. Hmm. Great fit website, great fit.

Because of the following non-matches that were sent my way, I quit that website and tried another. Well this website is quite interesting. Clearly ANYONE can be on this website and can post any type of picture or statement they want. If you are interested in a full body shot, mazel, you can find your man! I, on the other hand, do not want to see your body before meeting you. Where is the mystery?

I have met a few guys on this website, and the first one I would like to mention, I think is a wee bit confused. Let me say, on paper, he looks great, Ivy League educated, in the financial world - oh here we go just what my mom wants - and he is pretty good looking, but I think he is not batting for the right team. If only he could realize...

To be continued...

Dating as a Divorcee - the beginning

So these days, I wonder about dating. What in the world. Online dating is a serious joke, but can be fruitful at the same time.  I am divorced with a dog. I guess I feel like I am too old to go out to bars, especially in the town I live in. In my town, I feel like there are more meatheads than quality guys. Why is that? Is it the crazed sports enthusiasts? I am not sure, but meanwhile, I have not found the right guy.

Let me review, I have met some incredible guys, but they all have their faults – at least in my world. I do have to preface this by saying that I have the ultimate judge, aka my mother, who after my divorce said I will judge and ask a thousand questions more than I first asked.

Again, I have to back track to let you know that when I was dating my ex-husband, my mother was in mourning.  We had just lost my father about six months prior to when I started to date.  Let me tell you that when you are Daddy’s favourite, or Daddy’s girl, the change from 100% support to zero, is a big adjustment.  So, in my lacking of my father, I found the guy who would take care of me – or so I thought.

So, we date, we move in and then we get married. I loved him and his family – in Ireland. Everything was grand until some financial issues occurred.  I was very surprised that the financial issues were not because we weren’t making ends meet, but because HE was putting our lives in jeopardy.

Regardless, we ended up divorcing after a few years. I think that we had a great time together, but it clearly was not right.

So now, I am on this adventure – this dating adventure. So, I am not a night person, so going out just doesn’t make sense to me. I decided that I would go on a popular dating website. Well, to my dismay, the people who you meet are not always what you are looking for.

Granted, I have met some great guys, but already I know the majority I cannot bring home. You wonder why I can’t take them home? Well, it is because I have a mother, who wants the financial guy. Why can’t I meet the financial guy? Because I am not in that world and quite frankly, I am not sure the financial guy is the right guy for me.

Why is the financial guy not right for me? Well, at least here in my town, I have met a bunch of douche bags that are in the financial world. Plus, they are not around. Whoever I meet needs to be around for me and potentially for the child we will have. Although my father was in finance, he had this bubble existence, where he was at every game and every anything that was important to me.  It truly was a bubble, as I ask my friends who have Dads in finance and they did not experience the same.

But back to this online dating thing...there is so much to report...